How to Not Cum Fast – A Guide to Lasting Longer in Bed by Not Ejaculating Faster

Key Takeaways: 
– Premature ejaculation (PE) is a sexual health problem affecting up to 40% of men. It’s a common reason behind why some men cum too fast.  
– Trying methods like the stop-start technique and pelvic muscle exercises can help you control orgasms better and prolong sexual activity.
– You can buy PE medications like serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) online. 
– Penis numbing sprays, desensitizing creams, and stamina condoms can also help delay ejaculation by reducing sensitivity.

It is normal to wish to last longer in bed and enjoy prolonged pleasure with your partner. Many men have concerns about finishing too quickly and ask themselves,  “How to not cum so fast?”, or “How to delay ejaculation?”. If you’ve had a similar concern and want to make your sexual life more enjoyable, we’re here to help. 

We will explore some simple methods to assist you in preventing premature ejaculation (releasing semen too quickly).  We will also cover some commonly asked questions related to PE.

What is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation (PE) means reaching climax and finishing too quickly during sex. It is a common male sexual health problem. 

As pointed out by Ricardo Munarriz, a sexual medicine physician at the School of Medicine at Boston University, PE affects up to 40% of men.  

In PE, the release of semen happens before or too soon after penetration during sex. “Premature” means it happens more quickly than desired by the man and his partner. 

Occasional early ejaculation may not be a big deal. However, if it occurs very often, it can cause a lot of stress and disappointment. Orgasm is controlled by the brain and the central nervous system.  A small group of neurons known as “Onuf’s nucleus” located in the sacral spinal cord controls the release of semen.

Before exploring how to get rid of premature ejaculation, it is important to know what causes it.

Causes of Premature Ejaculation

Psychological causes include:

• Stress and anxiety : Worrying about sexual performance, low self-esteem, or any kind of stress can cause PE, as per research published in the Journal European Psychiatry. Men who have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or other anxiety disorders are linked to sexual dysfunctions like PE.
• Relationship problems  : Emotional distance or lack of communication in a relationship can make it difficult to prolong intercourse.
• Thyroid problems  : An overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism) or an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism)

Physical causes include:

• Hormonal or chemical imbalances : Brain chemicals (e.g., serotonin or dopamine levels) or hormonal imbalances like higher testosterone levels may result in PE.
• Inflammations in the private parts or surrounding area e.g., prostate infection or prostatitis
• Use of some substances, e.g., alcohol, recreational drugs, or even certain medications

There are other factors that might also lead to PE, e.g., if the person has limited sexual experience or has sexual activity rarely, he can find it hard to control his ejaculation. Besides, some men are more likely to ejaculate too quickly because it’s in their genes, as revealed by a 2008 study done by Utrecht University.

How Do You Know If You Have Premature Ejaculation?

According to Germany’s national health information website, Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care, on an average, it takes about 5 to 7 minutes for a man to reach orgasm after penetration. 

There’s no “right amount of time” for sexual activity, though, as it varies among couples. Note that there’s a difference between premature ejaculation and simply reaching orgasm too early. You might cum quickly in situations when you are sexually too excited. But if it happens more often (e.g., several times a week), it may be PE. 

So, how do you tell if you have premature ejaculation? You can check the time between penetration and the moment you ejaculate by measuring on a stopwatch. As classified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5) published by the American Psychiatric Association, there are different types of premature ejaculation:

• Mild: You ejaculate about 30 seconds to 1 minute after vaginal penetration.

• Moderate: It happens about 15 to 30 seconds after vaginal penetration.

• Severe: It happens before or during foreplay, at the beginning of sexual activity, or within 15 seconds.

If you’ve faced a similar situation, you might be wondering how to not cum as fast during intercourse. 

Let’s explore some strategies and techniques to boost your sexual stamina and delay ejaculation. These methods focus on managing arousal and extending sexual activity.

How To Not Cum Fast and Last Longer in Bed? Things You Can Try

1. Pelvic floor exercises: Kegel

Weak pelvic floor muscles might be the reason behind your PE. Kegel exercises, also called pelvic floor exercises, can help. Try working on your primary pelvic floor muscle, also known as the Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle. This can give you better control over your orgasms and help you last longer during sexual intercourse.

Identifying the PC muscle is essential to perform Kegels properly. Here’s what you need to do:

• While you pee, try stopping it midway or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. Once you’ve identified your PC muscle, you can perform Kegels whenever you want to. 
• When practicing, make sure your bladder is totally empty. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles when you are lying down, standing, or sitting. Be comfortable. Do not put pressure on the perineum, the sensitive area between the anus and the scrotum. Hold the contraction for 3-4 seconds, and then relax for 3 seconds. Try this a few times in a row.

A 2014 clinical trial at the European Congress of Urology showed that men, after completing a 12-week course on pelvic floor exercises, were able to increase the time they took to ejaculate from 31.7 seconds to 146.2 seconds.

2. The squeeze method

The squeeze method involves getting sexually excited, reaching the point of no return, and stopping yourself. Then, squeeze the shaft (just below the head/glans) of the penis. Apply light pressure with your thumb and forefinger and squeeze for 20 seconds. This pressure helps lower arousal and delay ejaculation. After the urge to ejaculate settles, you can resume your sexual activity. The squeeze technique helps 64% of patients to improve their control over ejaculation.  

3. The stop-start or “edging” technique 

The start-stop technique is also known as edging. It is a behavioral technique that involves stopping sexual stimulation just before orgasm and then starting again once the effects of stimulation have passed. The goal is to delay ejaculation so that you can enter your partner without ejaculating.

Here’s how to use the start-stop technique or edging method during sex:

• Begin sexual activity with your partner, whether it’s oral, anal, vaginal, or another type of stimulation.
• When you feel like you’re about to reach climax, stop pushing or stroking and step back.
• Pause for a few seconds or moments until the sensation has passed and you no longer feel like you’re about to climax.
• Resume sexual activity.

You can repeat the start-stop technique as many times as needed until you reach the point of penetrating for a desired duration without ejaculating. After some practice, delaying ejaculation might become a habit that no longer requires the technique.

According to a 2019 study, behavioral treatments like edging may not be enough to completely cure PE. However, they can be a proper short-term management technique.

4. PE medications like SSRIs

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are medications used to treat PE in men. 

They work by increasing the amount of serotonin in the nervous system, i.e., in the postsynaptic cleft (the gap at which neurons exchange messages with each other). This helps to delay ejaculation so you do not cum too quickly during intercourse. 

There’s sufficient evidence, including a study published in the Translational Andrology and Urology, confirming that SSRIs like dapoxetine can help men with PE have more satisfying sexual intercourse. Dapoxetine is often sold under the name Poxet 60 mg. 

Sometimes, people with PE also have erectile dysfunction (ED). That’s when the penis doesn’t get firm enough for sexual intercourse. There are combination drugs like Super P Force and Tadapox to relieve these symptoms. Super P Force contains sildenafil citrate as well as dapoxetine. So, it is used for the treatment of both ED and PE. 

5. Numbing sprays and creams 

Numbing sprays and desensitizing creams help to reduce the sensations felt during sex. All you need to do is apply the spray roughly 10 to 15 minutes before you have sex. They relieve PE temporarily by blocking the signals of physical sensations from being transmitted from the genital nerves to the brain.

These anesthetic creams and sprays contain numbing agents, e.g., lidocaine and prilocaine, that help to prolong intercourse. 

Apply with caution to prevent excessive numbing and reduced pleasure. Always follow the instructions provided by your doctor and the leaflet/label that comes with the medications.

6. Stamina condoms

Using stamina condoms can also help prevent you from ejaculating early. These condoms have a special lubricant inside them that makes the penis less sensitive during sex. Some condoms are made using extra-thick rubbers that act like a “slip-on desensitizer” for the penis. 

Thickened condoms can prolong penile hyperemia (increase of blood flow to the penis). They may increase erectile rigidity (hardness of the penis). By increasing the time between vaginal penetration and ejaculation, these can help reduce PE and extend sexual pleasure for you and your partner. 

7. Increase your foreplay time

Make the intercourse part a little shorter and focus more on other aspects of intimacy, e.g., foreplay. This will help you to spend more time on foreplay and please your partner while slowing down your own orgasm. Men can use their mouth, fingers, or a sex toy to provide clitoral stimulation. This may relieve some of your own pressure to last long in bed. 

8. Sex therapy or psychological counseling 

PE medications can’t work alone if your condition arises from psychological issues. Mental factors like anxiety or guilt regarding sexual behavior can contribute to PE. If this is your case, counseling with a therapist may be beneficial.

Therapy can take several forms, e.g., sex therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This will help address premature ejaculation and resolve the underlying mental health issue. 

Combining counseling or therapy with other treatments, such as medication, may maximize the desired results. A meta-analysis published by Cambridge University Press shows that a combination of psychotherapy and medication is more useful than using medication alone.

9. Distraction technique

Distract your mind to stop yourself from cumming too early. Try by using different methods, e.g., counting backward from 100, reciting the lyrics of a favorite song in your head during intercourse. Shifting your attention to non-sexual thoughts can delay ejaculation and help you last longer during sex.

10. Herbs and supplements

According to a study published in Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine, herbs like Ginseng, Ashwagandha, and Tribulus Terrestris are known to improve sexual health. While research is limited, some men have reported positive results after using herbs for sexual performance. However, speak to a healthcare provider before trying any herbal supplements for PE. They may interact with other medications or have potential side effects.

11. Lifestyle changes

A study in the World Journal of Men’s Health suggests maintaining a healthy lifestyle with a balanced diet, regular exercise, and limited alcohol consumption. Avoid using drugs or any substances without your doctor’s approval. These habits can positively impact your stamina and sex life. 

Learn to manage stress, which is a big contributor to premature ejaculation. Engage in techniques like meditation, yoga, and regular exercise. These practices can calm your mind and enhance overall sexual well-being.

Premature Ejaculation – FAQs

Why did I suddenly get premature ejaculation?

There are multiple factors that can cause premature ejaculation.  For example, there may be biological causes behind your PE, e.g., hormonal imbalances. Or it might be due to an imbalance in the levels of brain chemicals like serotonin. Check with your doctor if you have any recent swelling or inflammation of the genital area to rule out a possibility of infection, e.g., prostate infection. PE may also occur due to stress, anxiety disorders, or other mental issues. Consult a doctor to find out the real reason. 

Are there any natural ways to avoid the quick discharge of sperm?

Yes. There are many simple, natural ways to delay ejaculation during intercourse with your partner. These can include distraction, stopping and restarting sexual contact, or lightly squeezing the shaft (below the glans or head) of the penis just before orgasm. Some men report that masturbating before intercourse also helps them delay ejaculation. 

Can premature ejaculation be cured permanently?

PE is a common male sexual dysfunction, but it is treatable and manageable. In some cases, PE can be permanently fixed. For example, if you can’t prolong your erection due to relationship problems, couples’ therapy can help fix it. 

In other cases, SSRIs like dapoxetine are used as some of the best medicines for early discharge of semen. If you have prostate problems or thyroid problems, there are other medications to deal with those conditions. 

Does premature ejaculation get worse with age?

No. PE can occur at any adult age. However, men who are 18 to 30 years old report it more often than other age groups. 

The condition can improve as you age when you make use of appropriate premature ejaculation treatment. Even so,  your general ability to hold erections or ejaculate properly will decrease with age due to general health-related factors.

At what age do men stop ejaculating?

Contrary to what many people think, it is normal for elderly men to still enjoy intimacy and be sexually active. Men in their 70s and 80s have sexual desire and can release sperm. However, the quality of ejaculation will diminish with age. 

What are the best pills to keep you hard after ejaculation?

You can’t keep the erection firm after reaching climax and ejaculating. It takes some time for the penis to regain an erection with adequate sexual stimulation. It’s called the “refractory period,” or the time it takes to get another erection right after an orgasm. 

Some medications like Super P Force (which has sildenafil and dapoxetine) can reduce the refractory time.  These drugs may be used in combination with various creams or sprays aimed at reducing sensitivity. This may result in a longer-lasting erection during vaginal penetration. 

How do I hold my ejaculation or stop ejaculating during sex?

It is not always possible or natural to withhold ejaculation or stop yourself from cumming. It is a normal part of sexual activity. However, you can delay the time you take to ejaculate by improving your control over the function. 

To block sperm on purpose for pleasure, use the start-stop technique or distraction technique, as mentioned above. 

Final Thoughts

PE can be a distressing sexual health concern. But with certain behavioral techniques and strategies, you can avoid ejaculating too quickly during sex. 

Using natural remedies, oral medications, and seeking professional help prevent premature ejaculation. To gain long-term benefits, combine them with healthy lifestyle habits. 

Remember, finding the right approach may involve trial and error. So, have a little patience and be kind to yourself and your partner. With time and practice, you can overcome PE while enjoying a more satisfying and fulfilling sexual life

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